I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
