Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
