We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
