I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think I have vodka in my lungs
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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