"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
