I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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