Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
