I think my vagina is haunted
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
