the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
