I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
