just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
