The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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