dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
