You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
