I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
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