yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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