Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
