Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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