He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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