dude i'm inner monologue high
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
