At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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