Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
