I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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