How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
