Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize