she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
