His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
