i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
