and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hippo gnu deer
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Randomize
