do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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