im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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