Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
