i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
