In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
