I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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