i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
