Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
