i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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