just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
