He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
