we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
