Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize