Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
