Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
false alarm. still invincible.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
