i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
