My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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