You're my little dorito
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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