PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize