last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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