I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
