Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize
