Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
PANTIES FOUND
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
