Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
