He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
