His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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