Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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