She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
