3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
