i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
