then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
