it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
