There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I AM VODKA MAN
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
