peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
